Struggles

Why is it so hard sometimes?

I just wish....that I could keep that joyfulness, that overwhelming feeling of awe and glory, in my heart.....I love my Jesus. So why don't I show it more? Why can't I just stop being a stupid little idiot, and start being a true servant of Christ's? A servant who is more able to see from God's perspective, to forget/brush aside the things of this world (ranging from "good-looks" to boys to whatever...) and focus on Jesus. Not meaning that I disregard the things in this world, for indeed I am called to live IN the world....just not of it. Sometimes that's a hard line to discern...other times, it's not so hard to discern as to actually obey. Jesus. I need your help.
But even when "I can't feel You....I will not fear...." "Jesus, be my Guide, and hold me to Your side...."
May this be a re-commitment to You, Lord. May You once again be my Lord, my Master....my Abba.
Nothing is impossible with God.
In You alone, Jesus - You are Victor.
-Corrie