Thursday, March 26, 2009

Junior Festival, 2009

Okay, so I meant to post this a little less than a month ago....yah, it's been a while. ....
You know? Even if no one else but Christ ever sees these posts....'that's cool" - as some would put it. This blog's supposed to be about, and for, Him, isn't it? Get your priorities right, girl!
On March 7th, 2009, I had to play two memorized pieces (MacDowell's Scotch Poem and the first movement of Mozart's Sonata) on the piano for a couple of judges and some other students and their parents (the event, for any who might know, is the Junior Festival). I have struggled a lot with giving up my anxiety and nervousness to Christ. And it was amazing. So, something like the night before, I was freaked out - in the most literal sense - and was almost positive I was going to throw up. T'was pretty bad. Then...I surrendered. It would have been much easier if I had done that in the beginning, believe me!! When I actually got to where I was playing that morning - I was at peace. Still a very teensy bit of the normal "stage fright" .... but not much - especially compared to the night before! I played my first piece, Scotch Poem, first, and my mom actually said it was the best she's ever heard me play it. Then I started the Sonata. Well - let's just say I didn't do so hot. I practically played the second half twice! I was able to keep on going....but it certainly wasn't up to the level I had wished for. Afterwards, I was wondering, Can I learn anything from this? And it was really awesome, 'cause God, in a way, spoke to me. I know it seems kind of little kiddish - but right before the Festival, I'd promised Jesus, I'll love You, even if I mess matter what, I'll still love You. And so God said something along the lines....So, you told Me you'd love Me - not matter what. Are you going to hold to your promise, or not? Are you going to trust Me? And love Me? Then He brought to my mind an instance, which I am fairly certain was one of the causes for my "downfall" in the second piece. In the "session" before me, another girl had played the same Mozart selection - and blundered a little bit. Semi-consciously - well, okay, maybe that's a cop-out - I thought, I can do better than her! And in fact, I did much worse! And here I was, so vain of my appearance, too self-confident, forgetting to humble myself before God and man. And God was faithful! He is so good to me.

1 comment:

  1. *laughing* I have done the same kind of thing where I say to myself, "I can do better than that." Then when I set out to prove myself I blunder and am humbled.