Firstly, I know this blog will not attract a lot of attention. But whoever may happen to stumble across my little page, I would be deeply gratified if you would, if so inclined, leave a comment. I love hearing from people, and it would be a great help!
You may be wondering what the purpose of this blog is exactly. To state it simply, I desire to have a place where I can express "my beliefs, my queries, my thoughts"... And for my friends (as they are the only ones who, as of yet, know about my small endeavor) to be able to converse with me and challenge me in my faith! Perhaps this blog will come to nothing - perhaps it will. Hey, nothing's impossible with God, right? :)
Anyhow, I have to say right now that (as it is painfully obvious) I am nothing "great" - anything I may be is only from Christ (that is the good things - don't blame Him for all my shortcomings!! :D) I really, really want to become a servant of Christ, as He was a servant to us. I struggle, and I fail, and He picks me up again and dusts me off....and then I struggle and fail and repeat the same scenario over and over again. But each time God amazes me! He takes hold of me and is like, "Corrie, look at me!" I am so grateful I am not Him - if I was, I would be totally exasperated over myself. (try figuring that out, if you can! :P) And boy! am I thankful that God is infinitely patient with me. Even just this morning, I was getting really mad at myself, 'cause I was realizing how many times I did the same stupid sin - over and over and over again! Each time, I'd mutter "Please forgive me...." but then I'd go and do it again. Today, God showed me 1 John 1:9 in a whole new light! I looked up "forgive" in the concordance, and some of the definitions I found were as follows: omit, lay aside, leave, put (send) away, yield up, forgive, let (alone, be...).... I looked up "cleanse" and found this: clean, clear, pure, purge, purify .... And I looked up "confess" and found one of the most marvelous things of all! to assent, i.e....acknowledge: - con- (pro-) fess, confession is made...promise....give thanks!!! I thought that was amazing! So I stood in my bedroom and privately thanked God for cleansing, purifying, purging me! I am clean. And no matter how many more times I stumble - and I will! - Jesus my Saviour will be there - to hold me, to look at me, and to show me more of Himself.
Another awesome experience - I'm sorry, but I have to tell of these things! I cannot keep them silent! - One night, my mom and I had just gotten home from something, and she and I were staring up at the sky and admiring the beauty of the crystal clear stars. After she went inside, I stood, rooted almost, to the ground, just craning my neck and staring in awe at those stars and glorifying their Maker. God started to become real to me then - it was like, before, I had known in my head, but not my heart. But now!!!
Another night, this past summer, I was feeling extremely "down"/depressed, and I started sullenly flipping through the Bible, not really expecting anything to happen. But as I thumbed through the pages, something caught my eye. Going back, I looked casually at some verses I had highlighted who-knows-when. And I was caught. Psalm 42, as I later discovered. The verse that "captured" me read something like, "Why art thou cast down, O my soul? And why art thou disquieted within me?....Hope in God, for He shall yet save thee...the help of my countenance, and my God." And then the chapter went on to talk about a "song" of God's. And I was like, God? What's your song sound like? And it was totally awesome! I had been restless before, and suddenly, I felt the most delicious calm wash over me! And I felt perfectly at peace.
So yeah, those are some of my most cherished memories. More on that later. Anywho, despite how bad this blog may be, it's a good place for me to "spill" my thoughts. Even if no one visits here, I'm o.k.! It'll be just God and me!